Many insomniacs associate their bedroom with all the wrong things. They have conditioned their minds to associate the bed with fear, frustration and anxiety. And the longer they’ve had a sleeping problem, the stronger these associations become. There is nothing more frustrating than not being able to asleep when you’re feeling exhausted, but unfortunately, this is a reality for many people. The bed has essentially become the enemy of the insomniac, and every time he lies down to sleep, he’s at war.Good sleepers are also subject to this sort of conditioning – but for them the situation is reversed. The conditioning actually works to their advantage. They have learned, either consciously or subconsciously, to associate their sleeping space with drowsiness, relaxation, a sense of peace, and most importantly – deep, restorative sleep. This is the normal state of affairs for a healthy individual, and it should be the goal of all insomniacs to reach this level.
So what are some techniques you could start with? Well, the most important thing is to not remain in bed if you can’t sleep (even in the early hours of the morning). A very common piece of advice is that one should never stay awake in bed for longer than 20 minutes. This advice is a little sketchy though, as it may prompt you to constantly check your clock to see how long you’ve been in bed. That's counterproductive because it adds to your anxiety. Instead of setting a precise amount of time, you should learn to trust your instinct – you can probably feel in your gut when you’ve been lying awake for too long. So the best thing is to hide your clock from view and to estimate the time yourself.
There are many things you could do when you get up, but a rule of thumb should be that it should be dull and relaxing. Here some ideas:
1. Read a book
2. Put your hands/feet under some hot water (this can be very relaxing)
3. Do some deep breathing exercises
4. Listen to binaural beats if you have any
However, you should never watch television or switch on your computer. And if you decide to read (which I highly recommend), try not to read anything too indulging. It’s also a good idea to go to a different room when you get up. When in the early stages of treating insomnia, you should expect to get up several times during the night.
And when you’re actually in bed, you should never try to sleep. This is impossible, and I’ll explain why using one of my favourite “golden rules”:
Sleeping is not something that you do –it’s something that happens to you.
Never forget this. No matter how hard you try, you can never force yourself to sleep. All you can do is to lie in your bed, get comfortable, close your eyes and relax. There’s no point obsessing about whether you’re falling asleep fast enough – it’s not within your control anyway. Once you understand this, it makes it easier to relax.
So make the bedroom your friend, and condition yourself the right way. If you're worrying when your lying in bed, then quite frankly you're better off not lying down at all. Tell yourself:
This is not the time nor place to worry about getting sleep.
